What being a fat woman is really like.

So Cosmo posted an article titled 'What being a fat woman is really like.'

It brought two proud plus size woman ( un-named. Not sure why)  to speak as they put it 'frankly on sex, body image, the false assumption that they're unhealthy, and how it feels to be the target of derogatory comments.'

You see their answers here but along with others bloggers I've taken the chance to the answer the questions from my point of view.


How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat? 

It niggles me  a bit as the majority of people who complain are usually half my size. But I completely understand we all have body hang up no matter what size or shape we are. I just try to give encouraging words and give them a nod that their body is beautiful whatever size they are and that they should feel confident.

How has your body image changed since high school? College? 

At the beginning of high school I was chubby, through puberty my body kinda stretched out and I went from round shaped to having hips, a waist and boobs and a ass. My body from that hasn’t really changed though apart from yo-yoing from a size 18 up to a 22/24. Saying that I can’t remember ever being below a size 14.

Have you tried dieting? What happened? 

I was put on a diet at the age of 11 by a dietitian, and it didn’t work then and doesn’t work now. I’ve learnt it’s okay to eat bad but you also have to eat good. I hate the term diet, there’s just way to many money grabbing gimmicks out there who encourage people to survive of soup etc and it just doesn’t work. I eat to maintain my weight not to gain or to intentionally loose I suppose.

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic? 

A bit of both. I follow my mothers side of her family hands down. Some people even say I look more like my grandparents child than my mother. We’re a big family, from my uncles to my mam and nan but I know my weight gain was due to emotional eating from the age of 8 when my parents divorced. My relationship with food hasn’t always been a good one like it is now, and I accept the fact I turned to food for comfort.

Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy? 

I consider myself healthy. I walk at least 40 mins during my commute to and from work and never feel tired from it or out of breath. I rarely visit the doctors or rely on the medication from day to day. I can swim 20 lengths no problem. I just hate how if I get the slightest cold, it’s an automatic reason for my weight and size to be brought up. I admit I could probably do more exercise, not to be healthy though, but because I enjoy it and the endorphin's that pump through your body after.



Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you're at? Have they always been? 

My dad has always had issues with my weight and size. He’s always been skinny and he’s always been active. Even at 50 odd years of age he goes to the gym daily. He was the person to take me to the dietitian when I was 11, he makes little remarks at how I could start swimming again and the weight would drop off me. I do however think he’s learnt to accept I am actually genuinely happy the size I am. My mum has been large for as long as I can remember. I think she’s my biggest critic though. I love to dress up and wear what I want and she’s always been critical of it. Even more so now she’s lost nearly 5 stone on slimming world. I think they are happy that I’m happy but to them I can always loose a bit of weight.

How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people? 

By listening and investing. Listening to their customer base, and investing education and time in to cut, fit and detail. Admittedly listening to their customers is something some plus size retailers are good at for the moment. I just find there’s still the same problem with sizing and fit and cuts that they still seem to not invest time in to

Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How? 

This is a tough question. I think men face the same pressures as women definitely. But I think it is more acceptable for a man to be bigger. I think where as men don’t necessarily judge one another, women judge themselves and other women around them. I find it difficult to write from a man’s perspective as the plus size men I know don’t feel pressured at all to be smaller.

Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?
Yes most definitely. Your fat = your unhealthy. Your fat = your easy. Your Fat = your lazy. Your fat = your standards are lower. There’s so much assumption and stereotype towards a plus size person. I can tell you now, I’m so much more fussier than my mates with men that my standards can’t be reached by anyone (hence why I'm still single). I am certainly not easy and as for being lazy, yeah I have my lazy days as much as anyone else.

Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight? 
Of course not. I mean I hate when my doctor sits me down and discusses it. For me personally if someone was to express their concern about my weight I’d tell them to be more concerned about themselves. When I find concern with my weight that’s when I’ll deal with it.

What are the worst things people have said to you about your body? 
When I was younger I got bullied badly. To the point I used to ‘be ill’ and not turn up to school. I was taunted and told how ugly I was every day. In my childhood I couldn't really cope with it but when people speak negatively of me now I’m a much stronger person to ignore it. It’s those who have the problem not me.
The main thing I hate that people bring up ever about my body is my bad scared skin on my face. That's what breaks me down. My size and body shape is something I feel confident and extremely happy with, but when it comes to my bad skin I hate it.

How did you respond? 
When I was a child I used to hide away. I had the ultimate satisfaction years down the line, still fat, and having those bullies come up to me to say sorry for basically ruining my life. I think my confidence and how strong I become made them realise they hadn't affected me as much as they probably would of hoped.


What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?

I have nothing but compliments about my body. Thanks to being part of an amazing group of people in the plus size community I feel confident whenever we meet. Whether it’s an outfit compliment or how nice my figure is. I also get the daily compliment about my bum from my boss (female don’t worry.) She’s been a lady I've admired for years so for her to compliment (and be jealous) of some part of my body is huge for me (nearly as big as my bum ;) )

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?

To be honest, my friends back home are all skinnier than me, and it’s not affected our friendship. I’d say it was only until last year when I first moved to London did I begin to have people in my friendship group closer to my size.

How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all? 

It hasn't. I still have sex as freely as anyone else. My size does give a certain group of men some sort of idea that I’m easy and I’ll automatically sleep with them. Unfortunately this group of men also can’t take rejection. I’ve had a lot of stick for turning men down. They have some sort of idea in their head because I'm fat that I should take what I'm given UH PLEASEE!

When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
Hmm It’s a difficult one. I’ve never been in love, neither had I had a very long term relationship. But my weight definitely has not been a factor of that. I’ve had boyfriends but it hasn’t worked because of other reasons. I’m currently single and I date more than my smaller friends back home and my weight has never been a factor or issue doing this.

Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women? 

If that’s their preference fine. I just can’t deal with sleazy men and who unfortunately due to the pornification (not sure that’s a word) of the term BBW, there’s plenty of men who view plus woman as a fetish. I am not a fetish and neither is my size. If a man finds me attractive coz I’m big fine, but for me I need to have more of a connection other than that

Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer women before you?
 


Not at all. Like I said it’s all about preference and connection. If I had a connection with that guy and he with me then that’s the reason we’re dating. For me size doesn’t come in to my relationships. I like to connect with people with same music tastes and interests rather than judging on size.



Clairehttp://amonkeyfatshionista.co.uk/
Naomiwww.diamondsnpearls.co.uk
Sianwww.pickedfoundpassionate.com
Luciawww.ucantwearthat.com
Rebeccahttp://theplussideofme.com
Michaelacardifforniagurl.blogspot.com
Lollyhttp://lollylikesfatshion.blogspot.co.uk/
Bettyhttp://www.bigfatbetty.com
Ginahttp://www.fatfitfine.blogspot.co.uk/
Debzhttp://www.wannabeprincess.co.uk/
Becky Barneshttp://www.mrsbebeblog.co.uk/
NatWww.awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk
Emmahttp://emmaatouchofsparkle.weebly.com/ 
Vickyhttp://therandomnessoftwee.blogspot.co.uk/
Michellestageyourpresence.blogspot.ie.
Becky Brownwww.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.com
Amanda http://cruellamcg.wordpress.com/
Elenahttp://www.frivolousmrsd.com/
Anne-Lisehttp://muki7x7.blogspot.co.uk 
Stephseeingspots.co.uk
 Cass          http://plumpparsnip.blogspot.co.uk/

One One Three

Can you tell I've had a busy week?? I was lucky to be invited to the fashion show of the plus size duo One One Three.

Since being introduced to them at BPSFW last year I have adored their clothing. Cool, Edgy and trend led, they provide Plus size women with what a lot of us have been sorting after for years.

I decided to dress with a little edge so teamed denim with pleather. I love the pleather front jumper I'm wearing. It's a find that I'll never regret buying especially as the price was ridiculously cheap.

I love events like this, as I get to see my blogger friends and catch up with familiar faces. After the show we all went for drinks and a gossip. I'm lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

The show itself was though full of attitude and spunk! The model were stunning and the clothing was spot on. I seriously can not wait to get my hands on it. T shirt dress, tartan, and stain glass window prints. This screamed 1970's sex pistols PUNK!

The collection isn't available yet, but I'll be sure to post when it is.





Outfit pictures taken by Mookie
Jumper - Love label Little woods
Denim shirt - Vintage
Skirt - Primark
Shoes - Topshop
Necklace - bijoux bizzare









Love
Michaela
xo

BPSFW

So I was fortunate to be asked back to help on BPSFW team this year. As I am now working I couldn't take on as much responsibility as last year but helped out with little bits along the way including managing the silent auction held on the day.


I couldn't attend the press day as I was attending a wedding (how cute on valentines day?). This year was easily ten times better than last year though. More professional and sleak. It was incredible to see how much within a year it has changed. After a busy day of two fashion shows, the marketplace and the silent auction, it was time to let our hair down at the after party. It was such a giggle and good way to relax with new and old friends.



Sneak preview - Anna Scholz Space dress in Floral




NEED THIS



AND THIS





Michaela brings the wine (and the party)


Just me and my friends ;)





Love
Michaela
xo

Anna Scholz and Simply Be

Anna and Simply Be invited bloggers to the studio last week to view Anna's simply be clothing and lingerie range and her very own collection. I of course worked the event but Simply be were lovely enough to invite Cardiffornia gurl along for the ride :p. 


The high tea spread put on was so nice. Little canapes, brownies and red velvet cupcakes. Prosecco was on hand to sooth a working day ;).


Of course, working amongst the collections I had already had my sneak peak months in advance to what anna was offering this Spring Summer. Bursts of bright colour and mis match prints with some iconic shapes in amongst new. There's so much of the collection I want and working with it is absolute torture I will admit. 

I was however introduced to some peices Anna created for her Simply Be range, which I hadn't been fortunate to take a peak at. 


I love these types of events, I get to meet old friends and new. It also helps that it was held in my work space so no begging for time off and racing across London haha. 

Here's some snaps anyway I managed to grab (apologises for there not being many. I was working as well as attending :p)











sorry for blurriness, phone can't handle heat haha


Frida getting involved in the dressing up in Anna's new season prints :p









Love
Michaela
xo




Just another blogging challenge LOVE IS IN THE AIR


This valentines is the first in a few years I actually have a date. I've already received the phone call off my mum.
 'If a letter arrives for you, it's probably best to leave opening it until Friday,' (thanks for the yearly Valentine 'without fail' card mum.)  As well as a date I am attending a wedding in the day. Normally I'm a grump when this time of year comes around. At 22 I've had several failed relationships that haven't even reached a celebratory anniversary (this is the part where you feel sorry for me yeah?) This year though there's lot's happening and like I mentioned I have a date (sick of hearing it already?) 

I wasn't sure what to write about when this theme come along. Do I wanna right about all the cooey and mention gross romantic stuff? or, do I just keep it to Valentine themed things? I chosen to sample a few bits I think would be perfect for not only Valentines day but to wear all the time (who want's to buy something just for a hallmark created day anyway? 'Love is all around me it's everywhere I go' )









All on asos.com now

Love
Michaela
xo




Day to night - Sequins

When I saw this skirt I instantly needed it. I'm like a magpie when it comes to sparkle. I knew I had to wear it for new years but wasn't sure how to wear it to get the most out of it. My Wardrobe is full of pieces I wear once and never utilise to get full wear out of. Unbeknown to me on closer inspection I saw I had pieces in my wardrobe that would carry this skirt from day to night.

I decided to dress it with a lilac camo boyfriend tee to give it a casual edge for day time. I teamed it with some cut out high tops from Topshop (Xmas sale bargains) and my favourite statement Primark necklace. I love how day time this look is even though I'm wearing a sparkle glitzy skirt. I also love how feminine the outfit it. I do have a tendency to be a bit grunge and casual with my daytime looks. 

For the night I wrapped around my New Look Inspire eyelash cardigan and tucked it into the skirt. A simple and effect way to create a two piece for night that will guarantee you get all eyes on you. I just love how cosy and how perfect these two items peice together. Match made in heaven.









Love
Michaela
xo

My fatkini

So as I'm sure all my UK readers know, Primark now are stocking size 20 clothing. As much as some of the things still don't fit (terrible sizing on Primarks behalf) some of the stuff is amazing if your looking for a quick bargain.

I went shopping to get some basics the other night, as I was lacking in plain t shirts and crop tops. When my eyes met this bikini I had to have it. Unfortunately there were no sizes past a size 10 left and my heart sank. Luckily my mum came to visit and to cure her addiction to tote bags with everything London on (only £1.50 in Primark), I made her come along with me to the Marble Arch store. I headed straight to the bikinis where the poor sales assistant didn't even get chance to place the bikini down. Stopping at a size 18 (bad Primark) I grabbed it out her hands. I didn't even try it on I just risked taking it home immediately.


So here I am in all my glory. The response on Instagram since I've posted has been amazing. I can not wait to rock this bikini on my weekend away to Italy in the summer, beach, bikini and wine (BBW? ahaha) 





I'm so impressed at the bottoms more than anything. I feel secure, sexy and confident. As much as I want the monif C and Swim sexy high waist bikini bottoms these definitely fit the bill for now.

Love
Michaela

xo