My Motivation - One step at a time

You may have or may not have seen (if you follow my instagram you would have,) but I've recently decided to join the gym. Loving my body and the size I am, this decision had no intent for me to change any of that. As I'm sure people know (let’s be honest it’s not been a secret) the last few months for me have been difficult to say the least. I spent 9 months infatuated with a person who not only lead me to believe we were together, but who I found out cheated and lied throughout our time together. I jumped in to a relationship straight after with someone who was willing to take as much as he could from me (I stopped it before he could do too much damage,) and along with that my living situation was a little rough around the edges and the majority of my friends in London slowly started to move away. I hate to sit to wallow in self-pity, but the last few months had changed me physically and mentally for the worst.

Over Christmas I had a talk with my mum looking at the possibility of maybe moving home, but luckily we realised that I was being really stupid and couldn't throw away the opportunities I'd been given, and the ones that were and are still to come. I went to my local doctor who I'd been going to since I was young. She was willing to throw every pill in my direction to try fix the problems and the way I was feeling. I knew this wasn't the answer for me but due to not living in the area a referral for counselling wasn't an option. I was really stuck in a rut, feeling like I had nowhere to turn. I didn't want to burden my friends or family, I didn't want to shout off the rooftops on social media (which I probably failed miserably at let’s be honest.) I was stuck in this bubble and felt lost with no way out.

I had no motivation for anything, but the people who I looked up to around me were soon to change all of that.

The best blogger babes Hollie. Katie, Lucie, Abi and Nicole have all encouraged me to blog again and helped take the photos you see below and on the following posts. This has given my confidence such a boost, as I'd previously neglected my blog. I can’t thank these ladies enough for helping me.  My boss, who's always been an inspiration of mine, encouraged me to take a look at the foods I was eating and also motivated me to try exercise.

I had been looking to start up swimming again. I find swimming easy and relaxing, but the facilities around by me weren’t easy to get to. Pure gym had opened up near me and with the price it is I thought I’d give it a shot. I've never been a gym kind of girl, but I knew I needed to improve not only my physical state (walking up one flight of stairs outta breath isn't good) but my mental health.

I did start going in the evening after work but found it was far too busy. I'd end up waiting 10 mins for a machine. I completely lost motivation and often ended up just coming home to ensure I wasn't back too late. I then decided to start trying out the classes. I made sure I was doing the morning classes and after a week I found a routine. So far I've kept at this for three weeks. This may not seem like a long time for some, but I feel like I've found some sort of release and something that is slowly fixing me. 

The adrenaline and buzz I get off doing exercise is crazy. Within two weeks I loved seeing my times and distances improve. It's the little things that matter and I think because I'm seeing this change its motivating me to keep improving. The one class I've enjoyed is spin class. When it starts getting tough and I can't do certain moves I don't give up, I just do the best I can. Just sprint cycling alone creates a crazy amount of sweat and gets my heart racing. The instructor is so encouraging too and often tries to motivate me if he sees me training outside of the class.

I can't really explain what motivates me specifically though. I think just seeing the change in me and also my improvements is enough for me to go on. I'm quite a competitive person and also push myself to the limits to get the best out of me. I love the routine I have in place too. Knowing what days I should be going and not and having a plan of action for the week really sets me up.

I suppose I have to thank the people who also made me realise my worth. I may have let a lot of shitty people in my life the last year, but I have learnt so much about me and I'm finally seeing how strong and determined a person I am. I admittedly started becoming a pessimist, but I've caught up with myself and realised that really wasn't me. I love looking at the brighter side of life and towards the future, rather than wallowing in the past. I've also become less naive and have built up a even stronger wall.  

I can't encourage exercise enough. I think just being active and doing even 1/2 hour a day can change your outlook on life. I really believe the best medicine for me is the gym and being active and I don't think I'll be looking back anytime soon. My aims aren’t to drop 100 pounds or to become a size 10, I’ve done this for me and to change how I felt from the inside. My appearance and body image confidence never have been a problem.

I can only advise taking small steps. I couldn't just jump in to doing full on work outs in a matter of minutes. I've slowly progressed and pushed myself. Your body will honestly tell you when to stop (yes I've had a few times where I pushed myself too hard and felt a little faint.) 

I hope people don’t begin to resent me and think I’m doing this to loose loads of weight. It’s a change that’s been needed and it’s working for me . If I can just motivate someone else to just become a little more active then I’m even happier.

Sweatinnggggg

The after glow haha

My mile on the treadmill has decreased from 22 mins to just below 16 mins in the space of three weeks.

Love

Michaela

xo