It does feel like there are many stacked cards making it seem impossible for plus-size people to find love. Seeming impossible, however, doesn't mean it actually is.
With more dating sites than ever, sites like BBW Dating site Cuddly Matches really help people feel comfortable in approaching dating again.
It's all about finding your confidence, and using tools such as the site above that will help you find a partner who loves, cherishes, and respects you and your body.
So, here are some tips from me to you dating and finding love whilst using the Cuddly Matches website.
Be willing to take risks — even if it might come with rejection. Make the first move. If there's a cute person you're attracted to, message them go on! It's OK if you get rejected. Move on and keep messaging and approaching people.
Ask them out and don't settle for a person who wants you. Go for the person that you want. You don't have to leap for the first person who shows interest. If you're not attracted to the person approaching you, politely decline.
You're not a perfect person and no one should expect you to be. So, from the beginning, flaunt your flaws. For instance, don't pretend to be someone who prefers to text when actually you want a facetime or call. Let your date know what your preferences are and stick to your guns.
Be confident about who you are and the what you bring to a potential relationship. You are valuable. You are an asset to any person. Let that be known from the beginning to whoever it is you're chatting to.
Push for the dates that allow you to be visible. There are some people who want to hide their plus-size dates. It can be subtle, like never having dates in the daytime, or more overt, like only having Netflix and chill dates (big red flag for my - and the pandemic is no excuse anymore). Date people who aren't ashamed of your body and who want to be seen with you.
A big one and one you'll catch on to with more experience is to recognize the difference between being desired and being fetishized. There really is a fine line between being desired and being fetishized. Spotting the signs of fetishization, like being encouraged to gain weight, being repeatedly referred to as a BBW, and having a lot of conversations that reference the size of your body, is important.
You want someone to be attracted to you, not obsessed with the fatness of your body ( unless is is something you're interested in and comfortable with though.)
There's nothing wrong with getting busy on the first, second, or third date. Don't hold back, if in the moment you're both feeling it, there's sexual frustration and attraction. Go with it if you're both consenting and happy to. Not forgetting how important it is to practice safe sex and openly communicate about sexual boundaries.
Otherwise being plus size doesn't mean you're any less deserving of respect, love and being woo'd dined and cherished. Using the site above for plus size dating gives you a relaxed and safe environment to make the first step/ or maybe the 10th step back in to the dating game.
Just don't forget how incredible you are.
Oh and definitely let me know how you get on :p
Love
Michaela
xo
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